I Don't Know
by RyuuseiDragonPenguin
Summary: Takes place Inazuma Eleven Episode 57. When Kidou asked Endou what he thought of Gran, all he got back was an 'I don't know'. But what were Endou's real feelings behind these uncertain words? Drabble.


**A/N: Sorry for not posting. Work overload for the holidays... Sorry for those waiting for 'Forgive or Forget' sequel to come out, I'm doing research right now. Should be done by the end of the week or a little more. By the way, it's going to be titled 'Beyond Brothers'. What I need YOU GUYS to do is go to my profile and vote on the poll what ending do you guys want. I'll thank you so much if you do it. :) So here's a quick fic, one of my old ones recently edited. Please read and review!**

**Disclaimer: Level-5 owns IE, why can't I? TT-TT**

~I Don't Know~

Normal POV

_"Hey Endou? About Gran..."_

_"Gran? Do you mean Hiroto?"_

_"What do you think about him?"_

_Endou froze. Kidou watched the boy expectantly, awaiting his answer._

Endou's POV

Love.

The first thing that comes into my mind. Many think love is something I have yet to decipher, but I have found a way to relate to the exhilarating sensation. Love is like soccer. And like a game of soccer, it can be played many different ways.

You may always tackle each other as you fight for possession the ball, never ceasing in your attacks to recognize the other's magnificent plays and style. Convinced you alone will make this relationship come through, when what you are doing is in fact faltering the trust between you and your beloved teammate.

The relationship could be stemming from one person more than the other, like a striker charging forward with their hopes and dreams in the ball, but the other player idling behind to watch him score. Granted, he would cheer when his love makes the goal, but he would say no comforting words when the shoot fails.

I believed ours was one where they run beside each other, ready to cover when one player loses possession of the ball, on look out for others that may steal away the soccer ball filled with their feelings. They always have each other's backs, both guarding the ball with passion from the opposite team; the ones against their love. Feinting past those obstacles to score, victory so much sweeter when you realize it was made through the efforts of both of you.

An eternal game of which happiness dribbles through all complications, and the faith you have in each other bringing out the most amazing hissatsu techniques. Feelings carried through the ball you both kick, all of it stemming from one core: Love.

But while I smile at the beautiful word, another creeps into my mind like a plague, suffocating the word's radiance with bitter darkness.

Pain.

I bite my lip at the cutting word. It cannot be denied. As much as I wish to throw off the cloak of dark that hid the light of love, I cannot bane it from existence. It's there, and it stays within me, growing with each day.

The time where I gave him the ball, but he never returned it. The time he kept it in possession, violently charging and breaking through anyone who dared to interfere. He scored, but not with our dreams on his mind anymore. Only with his own desires. I could not call our love remotely like the soccer I loved. The terrifying plays you used to win turned against me, hitting me again and again until I collapsed.

I remember the unyielding black fog that engulfed the field. I recall the shocked cries of my teammates. The image, that fateful day, is burned into my mind. What image you ask?

The image of you, my dear Hiroto. Appearing in a startling light that cut through the smoke, along with ten others. With a wry smile full of mocking, along with eyes of soulless darkness.

You smirked in my frozen face. You jeered at my obvious vulnerability. You scoffed at my useless words.

You turned down my love without a bat of an eyelid.

*flashback*

"So, Endou-kun. Sakka Yarou ze." Spoke the stranger with my love's face.

What a twisted face it was. It was undeniably lovely, with an olive skin tone, luxurious green eyes, perfectly formed lips, and a crown of fiery red hair to frame it. It was beautiful. But to me, it was heart wrenching. It was the face of Kiyama Hiroto, but hideously warped.

The olive toned skin that I had once adored to caress. It was paler, like a corpse. Those avid green eyes that sparkled under the moonlight that I had met you under at Manyuuji's were now dull, a lifeless gaze. The lips that I had loved to kiss, twisted into a heartless smirk. The vermillion red hair that I had run my fingers through a million times was now lifted up to display your changed face.

The face that couldn't be called Kiyama Hiroto's. It was Gran's.

My lips struggled to form words with difficulty. They were seemingly frozen in shock, along with my numb, paralyzed body. After a while, I managed to convey in a plead,

"Hiroto... Why?"

Gran's- not your- sneer widened. The Raimon Eleven watched this exchange with confusion. They stared at my fallen face... I could practically hear the confusion in their thoughts. They couldn't understand why their captain was under such incomprehensible pain. _Endou was hurt like this, over a friend?_

I could tell though, that Kidou had noted the anguish in my eyes from behind his tinted goggles. It must have been startlingly obvious to the game strategist. This Gran, this ALIEN, meant much more to me than I let on.

Gran strolled forward, ignoring the pointed looks of his teammates and the concerned faces of mine as he narrowed in the distance between us. When we were only mere inches apart, he leaned in.

I thought for a moment he was going to kiss me, like what you had done so many times. But his lips sailed past mine with no hesitation. They grazed my ear as he spoke into it, with that emotionless voice that wasn't yours, wasn't Hiroto's.

"Why? Isn't it obvious? Are you really that dim-witted? My dear Endou-kun, I never really loved you in the first place."

*end flashback*

That is what I think when I hear the name Gran, the substitute of Kiyama Hiroto. I think of the time pain eclipsed all the love I had for you, leaving me hollow, empty. I was a being with no will, no strength, no desire to live. Your true form, Gran, plunged me into an impending darkness, a labyrinth I couldn't escape. I came to a dead end when I tried to love again.

You shattered me. You destroyed me. You broke our game of soccer, and now I kick the ball alone, almost dead without you beside me. Gran became my enemy, you became a stranger, and my secret love, Kiyama Hiroto became nothing more than a shadow of a dream I wanted to exist.

So what do I tell Kidou?

Normal POV

_"Hmm… I don't know."_

~The End~

_**DONE! FINALLY! *happy dance***_

_**Please review! All views are welcome!**_


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